Don’t call the police, but I’ve been traficking fiber. I have it stockpiled at my house ’cause I’ve been looking for a fiber supplement. If they invade my premises, they will NOT like what they see. I even brought some to work to share with my poo challenged co-workers. In my search for the perfect fiber supplement, I’ve found a winner:
This stuff is great! It totally dissolves in water, like, it was never there! Can’t see it, can’t taste it. I’ve even snuck some into some meals. They make them in these little flavor packets, which I didn’t care for because I don’t really like adding things to my drink. But, if you can handle Crystal Light, you can handle one of these packets in your drink.
And the most important part: It gets the poo pipe pumpin’ — and clean colons are the hotness! Yeah, I know you all wanted to know that.
It’s Friday, I’m out. See you guys Monday!!
Remember my new years post, I said I would start? Okay, so I did. We were in Walmart one evening, and Nadia went on a rage against the groceries I was buying. She was right. I knew I could do better about what I was eating and the rate in which I was exercising. So, I decided to make some changes. I don’t do well with things all at once, but if you make one change and stick with it, things start to happen.
I’ve only had 1/2 of a soft drink since last Sunday. I’ve worked out 5 times since last Sunday. I’ve had absolutely no fast food since last Sunday. I’ve only had one fried item since last Sunday (some cottage fries from Keifers). I increased my jog time to 10 minutes — 5 at a time. I’m learning how to eat at home. I’m learning how to make better choices in my own kitchen.
I haven’t made any other plans, though I’m sure there’s still room for improvement. I haven’t really noticed any difference, but after a while I will. I think I’ll stick with this for a while and see where it goes. Right now, I’m good.
What about you? Have you started yet?
Filed under: O:SAG
Today, as I was walking to our cafeteria to get some baked chicken and a salad, I ran into an old friend. Let’s call her…anti-diet. She said “Hey! I came looking for you to go to Two Sisters with me!” Literally, I was less than 50 feet from the cafeteria and the healthy baked chicken lunch. I love Two sisters. They seriously have the Best Fried Chicken in Jackson. So, off to Two Sisters I go. And I did pretty good, considering the selection. I ate minimal chicken, had some candied yams, greens, and fried okra. And peach cobbler. Keep in mind, I said considering the selection. I passed up macaroni & cheese and my all-time fave grits and gravy. And biscuits. I know I didn’t have to have the cobbler, but I did….. Lunch there is $12.50, I was getting everything.
Then, I get back to my office and noticed that one of my co-workers had M&Ms on his desk. A big ole, whomping bag of chocolate M&Ms. My mind said “You already ate at Two Sisters and you have to do a 4 mile walk tonight. Might as well go ahead and get a handful of M&Ms. Besides, it’ll make you wanna drink some water….and you know how you hate drinking water.” So, I got some M&Ms.
Then, we went to WalMart. Aidan wanted a doughnut. I didn’t eat a doughnut and I wasn’t particularly hungry, so I just got 2 chicken strips figuring that’s all I’d eat today and I’d get my walk on at home.
Home. Sat down at the computer at around 7 to do some training. The walk starts at 9. At nine, I wasn’t done. The walk starts at 10. It’s 11:39. I haven’t walked yet. ***SIGH**
Today, while I was nibbling on all things forbidden, I asked myself if I was satisfied with my overall appearance. The answer: I don’t know. I know. I KNOW that if I watched what I ate and exercised regularly, it would go away. But I just can’t seem to do that. I keep going back to that 5 pounds I lost. It’s like looking at money disappear, watching the time and healthy eating habits I forced myself into go down the drain. I am disgusted. I have no self control. This isn’t just from today…I also have residual patheticness left over from this weekend’s hash browns and bacon and potato salad and sausage and pie and other stuff I’ll keep to myself cause I can’t believe I ate them.
I’m not satisfied, but sometimes I think that there is nothing I can do about it. I’m tired of looking at this version of me in the mirror. I need to change, but everytime I try, failure seems inevitable.
Okay, that’s the end of my whiney woe is me statement. I’m going to sleep on this knowing that tomorrow is a better day.
Filed under: O:SAG
When I first started this OSAG no sugar, no pork or beef for a month thing, I told ya’ll I had low willpower. I told ya’ll my followthrough was suspect. But, naaaaaw. Nobody even checked on me. Nobody even asked me about it. I got sick and it was downhill from there.
We fall down, but we get up. No matter how many brownies I ate, I.am.not.a.loser (literally). Now, when I get back from McDonalds in a few minutes. Wait. I mean, after this barbeque Saturday. Hold on. I mean after we come from dinner on Sunday, I am BACK. I have to start all over, though, cause I messed up.
Please try to help me get through this 30 days. Please. Don’t let my swimsuit dreams go down the drain. Help me, ya’ll.
But May was supposed to be so different! Fabulosity is still in effect, and I promised to update you on my progess, so here’s the 5 day update.
– Sugar. Remember I was supposed to only eat sweets every 3 days? I did that! Saturday was my day, but I had no sugar on Saturday. However, I did have an ice cream cone from McDonalds on Sunday. I remembered from somewhere that Mcdonalds has the best ice cream for those who are watching what they eat. Confession: Before the cone, I copped an ice cream cookie sandwich from Tim’s freezer with the full intention on sneaking it. But, Aidan got his little grubby fingers on it before I could even finish half.
– Chicken, Turkey, Fish. No beef or pork since May 1. Tim has successfully convinced Aidan that Mommy is never supposed to eat bacon again. Ever. So, Aidan is now the bacon police.
– Exercise. Hmmm, well, um….Thursday night I did kickboxing, Saturday I did a jog a mile. Yeah, Friday and Sunday are missing. So shoot me.
I know, even the above is progress and I should look at the positive, but I just don’t think it’s enough. Yesterday in the China Wok, the waiter congratulated me on being pregnant. I didn’t say anything, just so I could let it ride and be over with, then he was like what? 3 mos, 4 mos? I was like, GEEZ LOUISE. I know I’m a big fat girl, but dayum. Oh, then on the way home I saw a billboard for laser liposuction. If only I had 10 grand, I’d end this all right now.
Every since yesterday, I have been feeling kinda bad. My throat is sore and my body is aching, like I’m about to get a cold or the flu or something. So, last night I took some Nyquil and laid it down at about 9:30. Today, I feel worse than I did last night. Who knows what’s going on..I just have to stick with it. My jeans and swimsuit await!
Hey, Hey, Hey!!! Today is May 1. My day. The day I implement all my giant plans and schemes to get it together. Again. So, what would a new venture be without a goal? That was rhetorical. Since you guys are along for this ride, here is where we’re going:
This is the pair of jeans I wore on my first real date with Tim.
This is a swimsuit I wore on a vacation to Destin in 2002. Yep, I’m going to fit into a 6 year old swimsuit. Go Me!
Now, for those of you who like illustrations, this is why we’re on this mission:
See my hand? It is placed directly on my stomach. Ew? Yes, I know. I mean, who needs more motivation than that?? I would show ya’ll my booty but then I’d start getting too much fan mail. LOL — but not really.
Last one:
What is that, you ask? That’s the edge of the bed. Yeah, my hand is still there. I just took a deep breath and sucked megatummy all the way in to where she should be. It’s the same theory as a pregnant woman can’t see her feet. I would have shown you guys that, but damn, let a sista keep some dignity.
So, there you have it. I’m still going to post what I eat and keep up with my plan. And, I’m going to exercise every single day for 30 days. Every.day. It is written. Before long, I’ll be back in my date night jeans and my throwback swimsuit. Oh, and I’ll be able to show you guys my feet. Here we go!!!
I’m not really sure what redux is or means, but I’m sticking with it. It sounds kinda goal oriented and gross at the same time. Which is how I’m feeling right now. For the past week, I’ve been taking notice of my eating habits. I’ve never really done that before. I mean, I’ve always known that I throw caution to the wind, but daaannnng. I have absolutely no self control. Not that I sit down and just eat and eat and eat, but as it turns out, I might as well. Remember my O:SAG no sugar thing? Well, that really did work. Then, it was shot to hell. Quickly. And with no remorse.
Well, I know that if I eat better, I’ll feel better. But I also know my limits. I don’t need sugar, but dangoneit, I like it. So, this is my revised plan:
1. I’ll have sugar once every three days.
2. No pork or beef for 30 days.
3. I’ll drink at least 32 oz. of water daily.
That’s just the food portion of the plan. I’m going to post what I eat everyday. You know, for accountability purposes. Tomorrow, we move on to body, and I’ve been trying to talk myself into posting a before and after. But it’s not looking good…literally.
Filed under: O:SAG
It’s 1:00 Monday Morning. WHY am I still up? Well, because before I go to sleep I read things online and I end up always being up 2 hours later. I decided Friday that I was going to join the OSAG movement. This is a necessary decision because I have been seriously slippin on my program. I mean, like chocolate chip, coca cola, twinkie slipping. Yeah, I was supposed to start yesterday, but…I don’t have a reason why I didn’t. Ugh, I digress…literally.
Anyway, there’s a commercial on for a colon cleanser. You would not believe the picture of the gunk they are showing that is in people’s colons. Dang. So, they start listing off the ways that you know your colon needs cleansing and I SWEAR that I have 9 out of 10 of them.
Which lead me to a new thought. What if I don’t need OSAG to get my stomach down, I just need to clean my colon! Geez, why didn’t I think of this earlier? Oh, yeah, I DID think of it…..and I was going to wait until today to start so I figured OSAG should wait till today, too. That is a perfectly reasonable excuse reason to wait till today.
Okay, okay, okay. I’m still going to do the workout thing, I promise. But, seriously, after looking at that gook they showed on TV, I’ma still be in GNC bright and early on the colon cleansing aisle cause hey, a little fiber never hurt nobody. I know you guys are concerned about my colon health, so I’ll let ya know how it turns out. Aren’t you excited?
Update: There is an infomercial now on for Kymaro’s new body shaper. You can lose 4 inches off your waist just by putting it on. I don’t need to clean my colon, I just need a body shaper! (Hee Hee…just kiddin).
Filed under: O:SAG
I don’t know where it came from, but there is an OSAG movement going on amongst us. OSAG = Operation Shrink a Gut. I’m joining. I have to. Nobody is holding a gun to my head, but it does appear that somebody is blowing air down my throat to make my stomach poof out. I already had my mind right to get it together again, so I’m officially putting my tummy into the program. I was going to start on today, March 1, but Hip-Hop aerobics on Sunday will be just the jump off I need. Here I go….bringing sexy back! Again…..
