PSERENDIPITY

I was over at ThinkPrettySmart yesterday and there was a post that sparked some debate.  I won’t rehash the post, but one of the issues was tithing.  You know, like in church.  So there will be no confusion, I’m a firm believer in tithing.  I believe that if you give 10% to God, he will definitely pour out a blessing that you won’t be able to receive.  That was his promise to us. 

One of the viewpoints was that instead of tithing, you can give to the community.  Or what if instead of giving 10% to the church, you gave 5 and saved 5 — then imagine how much you could save.  Hmmm.  My own personal belief is that God didn’t say do that.  He didn’t say “Divvy up my money how you see fit, and I’ll surely bless you.”  He didn’t say “Pay your tithes as long as you’re satisfied with how your money is being spent, and I’ll bless you.”  If you pay your tithes with the faith that God will take care of you, then he will.  If you don’t pay your tithes, then he still will.  But I would prefer that the windows be opened on my behalf.  And I know a God that can do it.

I told the story a while back about how when I was 7 months pregnant I lost my job.  No income, no insurance.  Didn’t know what I was gonna do, but I had always, always paid my tithes.   I mean, if somebody gave me $.50, I would give $.05 in tithes.  Seriously.  There were some times when I was almost broke, but I never thought “Ugh, I wish I hadn’t paid my tithes, I would still have $XXX.00 left.”  What I did was pray, and say “Lord, you said that if I gave back to you, you would take care of me.  I don’t know how you’re going to do it, but I know you are.”

Then I would get a refund from something I totally forgot about.  I would get a letter saying I overpaid my taxes.  All of a sudden, a client would pay that I never ever thought I would see again.  A credit card company would drop an interest rate.  A case I worked on would settle for a couple thousand more than I thought it ever would.  All that was God.   I made it through a pregnancy and 3 months post pregnancy strictly on the blessings and fulfilled promised of God.  And I’m still making it that way today. 

Now I don’t profess to be a Bible toting knower of all things Bible.  But there is one thing that I do know.  If you obey God, you will be blessed in abundance.

In my online classes, I have many students.  35 in total.  I have to give them feedback on all of their assignments, and I give lots of feedback.  I don’t think that I’m ever mean to them, but I do offer lots of correction/constructive criticism.  Let’s keep it real.  Writing is not the strongpoint in the class.  So much so, that sometimes it makes me sad. 

Anyway, point of the story.  On Sunday night, I was grading papers in the midnight hour, and there was a response to one of the papers.  Basically, the young lady said that she no longer enjoyed the class because she felt as though I was picking on her with my feedback.  Now, keep in mind I have 35 kids….time allotted to pick on one?  Nada.  I wasn’t mad or anything, I just told her that I was sorry she felt that way and that she should call me. 

I’m just going to focus on this, because I see it in my online classes, the one’s I teach in person, and in other areas.  Students just aren’t the same anymore.  When a teacher tells you that something isn’t right, you blame them? 

Here’s what I have noticed.  When I tell a man that something is wrong, I get one of two reactions:  1)  He challenges me, or 2) He fixes it without incident.   When I tell a white female, I get one reaction:  she apologizes, fixes it, and it will never happen again.  When I tell a black female:  they get an attitude, or they become the victim.   

I once told them to put thier names on thier papers.  You would not believe the uproar that came from that.  But, guess who had the most opposition to simply putting thier names on a damn sheet of paper.  Riiiight.  What is the problem?  Are we raising our children to think that they are always right?  Are we raising them to expect that whatever they attempt to do is good?  Why is it so difficult for them to accept higher expectations, so much so that they turn them into these burdensome obligations?  Why do they expect the best when they put forth the least effort….and, on the other hand, why do they think that just because they put forth a LOT of effort, they should automatically get the highest grade.  That’s the “I worked really hard on this, I don’t understand how it’s wrong!”  Ummm, Aidan works hard to tie his shoe, but when he’s done, the shoe still isn’t tied.  Should I just tell pat him on the back and let him go off tripping on stuff because he tried really hard?

I really don’t understand it.  It really pisses me off.  I’m mad now.  Maybe she should be glad that she didn’t call.

On Sunday, as I was driving back to Jackson, I had no choice but to listen to 97.7. I happened to tune in during this teen talk show. The topic was college. The point, specifically, was to inform teens that going to college is not the only way to be successful. This, I take issue with from jump street, and I’ll let you know that now. I’m not saying that the statement isn’t true, as there are many successful individuals who did not attend college. However, in an age where education has never been so important, why would you even put that out there? Moreover, why would you put it out there, and then let teens discuss it?

To be fair, the teens in charge of the show had done research and were reporting the ups and downs of both sides of the issue.  But my issue is both with the debate, and (mainly) the fact that it was even being had.  Among some of the points were that: you can join the military and be successful without going to college. Well, umm, you can only be so successful without a college degree. Your advancement now depends on your getting a degree. They pointed out that George Bush went to the military, not college, and he became successful. Yeah, he went to the Naval Academy, which is college.  Someone called in and said that you can be a truck driver and make tons of money.  Hundreds of thousands of dollars, even.  I’m not knocking a truck driver, but I think the pay may have been a little overstated.  And, of course, there was the you can be a basketball player or a singer.  Shall I even go there?

My fingers were itching to call in.  But, I don’t debate with minors — it’s not a fair fight.  However, many adults did call in set some of the facts straight.  One lady said it best to when she said that in African-American households, it isn’t stressed that college is expected.  In most Caucasion households, it is.  In my opinion, that is the gateway for these types of discussions to be had.  When I grew up, there was no discussion of whether I should go to college.  I always understood that my only choice was where.

Why on earth are you even debating whether or not college is beneficial?  Why put ANY doubt whatsoever or make ANY option seem just as good?And why would you give this assignment to teenagers who, by virtue of their age, are acting with half a brain and have no life experiences?

If you had called in, what would you have had to say?

Here it is…my rant.

I watch the Housewives, so of course I tuned in sporadically to see the Housewives of New York. On the reunion show, one of the Housewives said to the other one something like “This is a reality show. You knew you were having problems in your marriage, but you were acting like you weren’t.” I thought “What???”

Then, inevitably, the trainwreck that is now Jon & Kate left the station. There are scores of people that are upset because of the same reason. Its a reality show and they were acting like everything is okay, when clearly it wasn’t. I thought “Seriously???”

Here is my burning question: How are you supposed to act when your marriage is falling apart and the world is watching. And not to mention, your children. I mean, really? Should Kate have been crying every day? Should the Countess have been alerting the viewers every time she was on camera that her husband was unhappy? How should they have been acting?

I’m not on a reality show, but there are some times when I could absolutely hang Tim from the rafters. When you see me in Walmart, you’d never know it. When Aidan or Nadia sees me, they’d never have a clue that I’d just as soon wring their father’s neck. If I were on a reality show, would that mean I’m being dishonest?

Really, the biggest thing to me is that I get that they’re on TV and that they had to address the recent happenings in some way. But, really, what kind of person thinks that as a viewer they deserve to know the intricate details of somebody’s marriage falling apart and their children being minused a full time parent? The show that was on Monday was really the saddest hour of programming that I’ve ever seen. And its a shame that they have to show the world their family being disbanded and be judged during the most difficult times…just for our entertainment.

Chris Brown and Rihanna seem to have brought out the inner Dr. Phil in everyone.  I swore I wasn’t going to blog about this, but it just won’t seem to go away.  Everyone has an opinion on whey they’re back together, what happened, what they’re doing next…whatever.

First of all, we are ALL on the outside looking in — only hearing and seeing what the media allows us to hear and see.  All up in their business.  I saw the pictures, I’ve heard the rumors, I think what happened is a shame.

But, errr, um, can we let it go now?  What those two are going through is terrible, but they are 19 and 20 years old and they need to go through it.  Both of them are learning lifes lessons.  Hard life lessons.  I’m not condoning violence against anyone, and I’m certainly not saying that it was right. 

What I’m saying is that their choices are their choices.  They sound exactly like the choices you make when you’re young and dumb, and you need to live and learn.  She’s not stupid, she thinks she’s in love.  She’s no different than the millions of other women who have once thought this same thing.  But, like my mama says, let her keep bumping her head and eventually she’ll stop doing it.  Let her live and learn.  When she’s had enough, she’ll have enough. 

All the advice in the world is going to change her 20 year old mind.  Think about it, when you were 20 did you make stellar decisions that could only advance your life and that were never utterly stupid?  I didn’t think so.

I was talking to this lady on the phone the other day, and we were discussing someone with bad grammar and writing skills.  She made the comment that they only way she got through college was that she probably went to one of those “online schools.”  You know that chapped my hide something terrible. 

For those of you who don’t know this, I teach online classes.  I also teach classes at a traditional college.  I put the same amount of effort in both my jobs — well, that’s not true.  I put WAY more effort into my online classes.  For those, I had to have about six months of training.  I have to be available by phone for certain hours every day…and please don’t think I don’t get calls.  I have to check into my class seven days a week.  I have to answer tons of questions.  I have to keep students on track.  I have to monitor those I believe to have problems, and often come up with a plan with thier academic counselor.  I have to grade strenuously the papers that they turn in…and yes, I CAN tell when they didn’t write them, and no, they don’t get away with it.  My students in the online class all get individual attention.  In case you didn’t get the point, I WORK. 

I’m sure that most people think that an online degree or an online school is just in it for the money, just wants to sign people up and give them a degree.  But, speaking from the perspective of one who has an online degree and one who teaches online degree classes — that could be further from the truth.  Behind the scenes there is much training, there are people constantly working to ensure that each student is getting a quality education, the ongoing faculty development is phenomenal, I get together with other teachers to discuss common problems and come up with common solutions. 

I take it personally when someone tells me that what I do is a really just a sham.  I take it personally when someone tells me that I only got an MBA because I signed up for it so a school could make money, and that I’d never get a job with that “online” degree.  I worked very hard for the degree that I have.  Very.  And I work very hard to help other people get the degrees that they are getting.  So, if you think this is a joke — think again. 

I had a random post all set out for you guys today, so come back around 2-ish.  Instead, I was watching Good Morning America this morning, and I noticed that they’re still talking about this Mountain Dew thing.  Apparently, people who live in the mountains loooove their Mountain Dew.  And they are also poor and don’t have dentists.  They drink soooo much Mountain Dew that their basically rotting the kids mouths out.  I swear to you, the anchor even said that some of the mom’s put Mountain Dew in thier kid’s bottles.

I’ma have to agree with Pepsi’s first statement on this one.  Basically, they said “We only sell Mountain Dew, we don’t make you drink it.  Perhaps they should learn how to drink in moderation or how to eat more nutritiously.”  Yeah, Pepsi, I’m feeling you.  But, of course, the news segment was about how terribly bad Mountain Dew is for you and shame on Pepsi for blaming the victim.

Stop the presses.

How in the world is it Pepsi’s fault if some fool is putting Mountain Dew in her child’s bottle!?  Is there no milk in the mountains, no water, no juice?  Has Pepsi filled all the fountains, rivers, lakes, and streams with the Dew?  When you see your child’s teeth rotting, do you not realize that you need to look into his diet?  What do you think will happen if you pour sugar down your child’s mouth?

But people want Pepsi to have “social responsibility”.   What the hell ever.

Imagine one day that Aidan came home and said to me “Ma, tomorrow is Cotton Picking Day at school, we get to dress like slaves at school!  Yay!”  That almost happened at a school here in Mississippi, until somebody complained about Cotton Picking Day and it was canceled.  I kid you not, but I know you don’t believe me.  Okay, you’ve called my bluff, now read for yourself.

Why on earth would anyone think that it was a good idea to teach children about slavery by having Cotton Picking Day at school?  Did I miss something, or was slavery one of the most reprehensible acts in America…and now it’s somehow fun to dress up in your best slave outfit and go to school?

I could be wrong, but normally when you dress up and pretend to be something or someone, it’s supposed to be fun.  Let’s see…St. Patrick’s Day, Halloween, Christmas, Mardi Gras….yep, all fun, celebratory events.  What is fun about dressing up as a slave?  What was on the Cotton Picking Day Agenda?  Was there a cotton field on the playground?  A tree and a whip?  An auction block?  A “big house”?

Aside from the moments of general “huh?” that I’ve been having since I heard this, I really am trying to understand its educational value.  As a parent, I certainly want my son to learn the history of this country, the history of his people, and the interrelation of both of those things. However, I do not want him to have the impression that anything about slavery should be associated with a good time, and he should never be left with the idea that “slavery wasn’t that bad, I had fun that day at school when I dressed like a slave and picked cotton!”  The very idea of that is shameful.  Frankly, the very idea of any of this is shameful.  

Here’s the backstory:  The Mayor of Jackson and his two bodyguards went to this “crackhouse” and tore it down.  Vigilante style, like with hammers and stuff.  So, they go on trial in state court and they’re found not guilty.  Of course, the feds want to flex their muscles, too, so they charge the three of them with violation of the crackhomeowners civil rights.

During the federal investigation/trial proceedings, one of the bodyguards surprisingly pleads guilty and agrees to testify against the Mayor — his boy.  No one knew why, I’m not sure that anyone cared.  And this was about 6 months ago.  In fact, I’m not positively convinced that anyone cares about the whole trial thing.

This morning I wake up to my favorite news channel, and here’s the report:  The bodyguard was supposedly involved in some gay/transvestite sex thing and the feds found out.  They threatened to make this information public unless the guy rolls over on the Mayor (no pun intented), so that’s exactly what he did in order to keep his business out the street.

My question:  If this man was willing to sacrifice his freedom to keep people from finding out this “secret”, then why would you then report it on the news?  This man has a family and probably some children, a mom, a dad, and undoubtedly it is enough that they have to go through this whole public trial thing.  Then to add insult to injury, you go an report that the man has been having gay/tranvestite sex. 

Is that really news?  Why would you do that?

I’m in Memphis, up grading papers.  This show called The St.eve Wi.lkos show is on.  The prevailing theme in my head is “What in the world???”  This chic is on here talking about how she’s scared to leave her kids with this dood, Kiata (apparently their dad), because he beat her up and he spanked the 1 year old.  Okay, so don’t leave ‘em.  Simple problems, simple solutions, right?  No.

Okay, so the girl tells us all about how he did her, how he went to jail after he hit her (oh, but he went to jail for lying to the police), how he kicked in the door of her apartment last week.  But, she was gonna let him come back ’cause he gets to sweet talking her and telling her good stuff.  What in the world??

Of course, the guy comes on there and he’s acting all stupid and crazy talking bout he’s this and he’s that. He did say that before he kicked in the door, he asked for his belongings “profusely.”  So, yeah, he’s bright.

In all the foolishness that is occurring before my eyes right now, the girl says something that I have to give some credence to:  “I never had a man to sit down and talk to me.  I never had a man to show me that I was better than this.  I never had a man in my life, and the ones I did have did the same thing to my mama.”   That statement doesn’t make up for her lack of general common sense, but doggone if it doesn’t explain a lot.