Filed under: Fabulosity!
See? I do pay attention to you guys. This weekend I started building my makeup wardrobe, with your help. Here is what I got, in addition to some of Kelly’s Neutrogena mascara and TM’s Full Lash mascara. I made a deal with Leah the MAC lady to wear it 7 days in a row. Here’s day one. How’d I do?
(Oh, these are also a courtesy picture of my wig for Kelly. And these are also confirmation that my face is fat as hell. These have officially sent me back into the gym.)
This is going to take some getting used to.
Filed under: Fabulosity!
I decided that I’d actually go to the salon, sit down, and get my hair cut and shampooed. Whaddaya think?
Ugh. I guess you can’t actually see the cut good in that picture. Hold on….. The things I do for you guys…. I have to get up outta the bed and find better lighting. Sheesh.
So, much shorter now. Looking at it now, it was wayyy cuter before I took a shower. Anyway, told you guys that I was not afraid of short hair. It’s me. It’s what I do best. Oooh, I suppose this counts as my 35 hair. Okay, yeah, enough.
Have a good weekend!
Dearest boot camp, you are over for now. You’ve left me lighter, thinner, and wiser and for that I thank you.
Dearest Quanya, you’ve left me many pearls of wisdom. Among them: ”You can do anything for __ seconds!” ”Are your hands on the treadmill? Stop holding on!” Or the one you loved the most, “You’ll be alright….RUN!” Thank you for administering death by cardio. Or by shuffling. Or weights. Or obstacle course. You have made me a better person, but please stop making me run so fast. Thanks in advance.
Dearest Ayesha and Kendra, thank you for being my kickboxing buddies, too. I now look forward to Tuesday nights with you guys.
Dearest YMCA, get some air in that damn gym.
Dearest Adrienne, thank you for signing up with me and being my boot camp partner. You’re looking more and more Mary J everyday. And damn what the people say, your hair is still flyyyy.
Dearest NerdGirl, thank you for making me go on those nights that I didn’t want to. Even though I called you a loser in my head…find solace in the fact that when I got there, I called Quanya one, too. I can’t wait to walk one run one with you next time! Don’t run so fast, okay?
Seriously, what is it with all this fast running????
Dearest over-achieving boot camp girl who takes morning and evening boot camp and runs and runs and runs and for some reason wears a visor on the inside, I wanted to tell you so many times “sit down somewhere with all that.” I still do.
Dearest Mall, lemme get that in one size smaller!
Dearest Timothy, thank you for noticing my one size smallerness. You made me smile the other night when we were looking at swimsuits. You rock!
Dearest Aidan, thanks for putting up with mommy having you out at the gym when you could have been playing in your room. That’s why I let you watch TV in the bed…you’re Mommy’s little trooper. Love you.
Dearest Psonya, girl, have you seen yourself gettin all grown and sexy? You better do it! So, when are you going to run that mile? I mean, it’s been almost 6 months, so you really need to man up and get ta gettin. You can do it, just put your mind to it. Anyway, good job on sticking it out. I’m proud of you! But you know that isn’t the end….right?
I walked in the salon and said “Kim, put me back in the game.” With a sigh of relief, she said “Finally. All that hair just wasn’t you, you be rockin’ them short dos like whoa.” Yeah, I’m back. Do you feel the game changing? I do.
Filed under: Fabulosity!
So, I’m bipsy boppin along one day and I see an ad for an Ionic Detox Foot Bath. I thought “Hmmm”, I picked it up and kept going. Curious is my middle name, so I called the Spa to check it out. A very nice lady named Lacresa explained to me that you put your feet in water, and then she places a machine in the water that draws the toxins from your body. The toxins then appear in the water. It was only $25.00, so I said what the hell, toxin removal can never be bad…right?
I appeared at the loverly Tanning Spa and Salon all ready for my detox. Honestly, I was sleepy as all get out, and I figured what better way to spend your lunch hour than with feet soaking, cool air blowing, and lavender scents a flowin’. Yeah…so I’m on chill mode, my feet are in the water, I’m maxin and relaxin. LaCresa keeps coming in to check on me and make sure I’m drinking my water, and I’m all like “this is the life.”
Then I started to have to clear my throat. A lot. Then my midsection starts tingling, and my right knee starts feelin a leeeetle wierd. And I’m thinking to myself “What the hell?” My sinuses were draining so much I literally had to keep coughing. And then, I looked down at the once crystal clear water, and I saw this:
I’m thinking to myself “for real?…what is this?….ugh, this is nasty and my feet are in it…..ugh, this is nasty and it’s coming out of my feet.“ Bout that time Lacresa comes back in and I smile like I’m all roses and chocolate and ask her exactly what is going on? She tells me what is in the water, and gives me a book. Based on what you see above, this is what my body was letting out:
Orange — Joint toxins (remember the knee?)
Yellow — Bladder, Urinary Tract, Female Prostate (remember the tingling midsection?)
Foamy Substance floating — Mucus (remember the draining sinus?)
Oil floating — Fat (Yeyah!!)
It only lasted for 30 minutes, but I swear I felt better after I left. I have problems with my knee, and after that my knee feels so much better when I go to the gym. Lacresa told me that I would sleep like a baby that night, and she was shole nuff telling the truth. So, if anybody needs to remove some toxins, I recommend an ionic foot bath. Try it for yourself. As for me, my battle against toxins has just begun. I’m going back and get me another one!
Filed under: Fabulosity!
I was looking into my closet, and it’s a mess. No, it’s not dirty, it’s just…..umm…well, not befitting a Diva. Every weekend that we go to Memphis, I absolutely hate packing. That is not an exaggeration. I dread packing for a two day trip. One, because my weekend wardrobe sucks. Two, because I just know that Tim gets tired of seeing me in the same old same old all the time, even though he always manages to compliment me on something. I have this vision of my style, but I have a hard time putting it all together. So, I end up wearing the same things over and over and over again. Then I go to different places and see these women with the freshest clothes on, hair all done, bags all fly. I used to BE THEM. Now, if someone looked at me, the last word that would come to mind is “Diva.” The first is “Mama.” I need a style update! This might take a while, but I’m going to go through a fashion metamorphosis. From the rooter to the tooter, I shall emerge a true MAMA DIVA. I’m going for it guys, I’m finding my inner diva.
(At this time, I was thinking of posting a “Pre-Mama Diva” picture here, but on second thought…hell to the naw.)
But May was supposed to be so different! Fabulosity is still in effect, and I promised to update you on my progess, so here’s the 5 day update.
– Sugar. Remember I was supposed to only eat sweets every 3 days? I did that! Saturday was my day, but I had no sugar on Saturday. However, I did have an ice cream cone from McDonalds on Sunday. I remembered from somewhere that Mcdonalds has the best ice cream for those who are watching what they eat. Confession: Before the cone, I copped an ice cream cookie sandwich from Tim’s freezer with the full intention on sneaking it. But, Aidan got his little grubby fingers on it before I could even finish half.
– Chicken, Turkey, Fish. No beef or pork since May 1. Tim has successfully convinced Aidan that Mommy is never supposed to eat bacon again. Ever. So, Aidan is now the bacon police.
– Exercise. Hmmm, well, um….Thursday night I did kickboxing, Saturday I did a jog a mile. Yeah, Friday and Sunday are missing. So shoot me.
I know, even the above is progress and I should look at the positive, but I just don’t think it’s enough. Yesterday in the China Wok, the waiter congratulated me on being pregnant. I didn’t say anything, just so I could let it ride and be over with, then he was like what? 3 mos, 4 mos? I was like, GEEZ LOUISE. I know I’m a big fat girl, but dayum. Oh, then on the way home I saw a billboard for laser liposuction. If only I had 10 grand, I’d end this all right now.
Every since yesterday, I have been feeling kinda bad. My throat is sore and my body is aching, like I’m about to get a cold or the flu or something. So, last night I took some Nyquil and laid it down at about 9:30. Today, I feel worse than I did last night. Who knows what’s going on..I just have to stick with it. My jeans and swimsuit await!
Hey, Hey, Hey!!! Today is May 1. My day. The day I implement all my giant plans and schemes to get it together. Again. So, what would a new venture be without a goal? That was rhetorical. Since you guys are along for this ride, here is where we’re going:
This is the pair of jeans I wore on my first real date with Tim.
This is a swimsuit I wore on a vacation to Destin in 2002. Yep, I’m going to fit into a 6 year old swimsuit. Go Me!
Now, for those of you who like illustrations, this is why we’re on this mission:
See my hand? It is placed directly on my stomach. Ew? Yes, I know. I mean, who needs more motivation than that?? I would show ya’ll my booty but then I’d start getting too much fan mail. LOL — but not really.
Last one:
What is that, you ask? That’s the edge of the bed. Yeah, my hand is still there. I just took a deep breath and sucked megatummy all the way in to where she should be. It’s the same theory as a pregnant woman can’t see her feet. I would have shown you guys that, but damn, let a sista keep some dignity.
So, there you have it. I’m still going to post what I eat and keep up with my plan. And, I’m going to exercise every single day for 30 days. Every.day. It is written. Before long, I’ll be back in my date night jeans and my throwback swimsuit. Oh, and I’ll be able to show you guys my feet. Here we go!!!
I’m not really sure what redux is or means, but I’m sticking with it. It sounds kinda goal oriented and gross at the same time. Which is how I’m feeling right now. For the past week, I’ve been taking notice of my eating habits. I’ve never really done that before. I mean, I’ve always known that I throw caution to the wind, but daaannnng. I have absolutely no self control. Not that I sit down and just eat and eat and eat, but as it turns out, I might as well. Remember my O:SAG no sugar thing? Well, that really did work. Then, it was shot to hell. Quickly. And with no remorse.
Well, I know that if I eat better, I’ll feel better. But I also know my limits. I don’t need sugar, but dangoneit, I like it. So, this is my revised plan:
1. I’ll have sugar once every three days.
2. No pork or beef for 30 days.
3. I’ll drink at least 32 oz. of water daily.
That’s just the food portion of the plan. I’m going to post what I eat everyday. You know, for accountability purposes. Tomorrow, we move on to body, and I’ve been trying to talk myself into posting a before and after. But it’s not looking good…literally.
Filed under: Fabulosity!
Remember last week, my emotional post? ( I would link or trackback or whatever, but I don’t know how to do that, so if you missed it just click around) I said May 1, right? Right! So, every since then, I’ve been getting my mind right. I’ve been using that time to reflect on things regarding this transformation that I need to undergo, and I decided to get to the source of the problem. Lemme tell ya’ll what it was: I had a job interview in Memphis. I know, that’s really not something that would normally send someone on a downward spiral, but it took me for a loop — to say the very least. For a number of reasons, I panicked. Strangely enough, thoughts of this thing that happened to me a while ago resurfaced, and I almost couldn’t take it. I thought I had handled it, but the thought of it happening yet again overwhelmed me. But, all that is now handled and I’m ready to begin again.
So…still haven’t heard about the j.o.b. (after 4 weeks), but all is well. Life is happening, and I must participate. I’m still formulating the goal and the plan, but at least the juices are flowing. 2 days left. I’ll be ready!
