PSERENDIPITY

Tim’s text: Baby, you’re my 5 star chic, except for some of your outfits. Guess that makes you my 4 1/2 star chic.
Me: Gee, thanks baby.
Tim: What? 4 1/2 stars is pretty good!
Me: Whatever.
Tim: Okay, 5 stars. I was just playing.
Me: You.are.so.lame.

Me: I know you did a lot of things with Paw Paw, but what did you do with Granny?
Aidan: Well…um….we did lots of things together!
Me: Like what? Take a bath, eat dinner, go to church?
Aidan: No, like take over the world. Me and Granny are some bad mamma jammas!

Tim’s text: I sold all but 5 candy bars on the first day. Who the man?
Me: The man would’ve sold all the candy bars on the first day.
Tim: Man, you’re a hater.
…later that week
Tim: Somebody cheated me out of money for my son. I’m supposed to have $55 from this candy, but I only have $50.
Me: Who the man?

Me:  Aidan, you have really been doing well on obeying lately!
Aidan: Thank you, Mama!
Me: Why have you been doing so good at your obeying!?  What is making you act so good?
Aidan: Daddy. That guy is a real problem.