Filed under: Everyday Chatter
My foot is busted. At 1:30 yesterday morning Aidan and I drove to the E.R. My foot is sprained and I now fully understand why Lortab is sold on the black market.
But since I was off work anyway, I decided I’d meet Tim down here in New Orleans while he attends his conference. As we speak, I’m chillin at the Marriott on Canal. It cost me $32 to valet my car and Internet service is $18 a day in this room so I’m posting from my phone. Oh! And there’s an attempted hurricane. Good times man!
Filed under: The sign on my forehead
Yet, none of these were funny.
CoCo the Flying Shephard
We’re going to PetSmart right down the street from my house. I decide to take CoCo so she can get out some. Well, she likes riding with her head out of the window, so I specifically set my rear view window where I could see her AND I rolled the window up enough so her head could just stick out. Well…….apparently I misjudged. I’m traveling down Lakeland Drive (which is a busy street 4 lane highway) when I look in the rear view mirror and immediately start yelling “Ahhhhhh, sheeeetttt!” I try my best to slow down slowly, but CoCo jumps her azz out of the car. Yes. Jumped. Out. 30 mph. My mind is going in slow motion while I watch CoCo roll over and over and over as she hit the ground. Honestly, I was thinking “Damnit, I done kilt Aidan’s dog.”
But alas! I manage to stop the car before I roll over Coco and what does she do? Lay there like a wounded dog? NOPE. She gets up and takes off running. Into the traffic. So now I’m running after Coco yelling for her to come back while she plays in traffic. I am about to have a breakdown. Cars are stopped. People are watching. Finally, she comes and jumps in the car and I’m near tears, all shakin like I’m a crackhead or something scared out of my mind. She just gets in like nothing happened, laid down on the back seat, and looked at me like “What?” Aidan says “Hey, Cokey! I saw you when you was playin!!” Why are both of them oblivious to the fact that CoCo should not be alive right now?
He is bitten
We finally get to Petsmart and Aidan says “Ma, I’m itchin.” I look under his shirt and there are about 20-30 little bumps there. Panic sets in again. Chicken pox? Measles? Hives? O.M.G. what is happening to my baby??? He tells me that something bit him on the playground, but there are just waay to many bites for me to clearly believe that no one else noticed this. I call Granny Gran to see what this might be. I’m all in a tizzy. She gives me some home remedy and I high tail it home to test it out. I put Aidan in the tub, but I had to go upstairs to get this alcohol she said I needed….
Help!
So, I leave the bathwater running and I’m charging back down the steps. I fall. Down the steps. I swear that my foot is broken in two, but I just took an advil. Watch for the post tomorrow about my foot needing amputation. Immediately after the fall, I’m screaming and Aidan is hollering:
Aidan: “What’s wrong Mommy?”
Mommy: Nothing baby, mom just hurt her foot.
Aidan: You can call my Daddy if it hurts bad.
Mommy: Okay, Aidan.
Aidan: Come here, let me help you fix it Mommy.
Mommy: ***trying to move*** AAAAHHHH GEEEZUS! I.CAN’T.WALK.
Aidan: (Now standing beside me naked) Mommy, if you need Jesus, I can get him for you.
Mommy: Really, baby?
Aidan: Yeah, just let me put on some clothes…..oh, and I’ma need the car.
Filed under: Everyday Chatter
http://watchutalkinbout.wordpress.com/
Whew. Does anyone have any advice for this young sister? I’m talking about THIS.
Filed under: Everyday Chatter
Now you guys say, “Hi, Pserendipity!”
Lemme splain something. I eat meat. With everything. And I like it. In fact, let me take this opportunity to say PETA, kiss mine. And lady at lunch, double that last statement.
I’m sitting at lunch with some people I don’t know very well, and I order a chef salad. Ham, turkey, and some other kind of meat. Must’ve been chicken. What else could it have been? I can’t remember, but I remember it had three meats. So, chic keeps talking about how she doesn’t eat pork. All the while I’m eating ham. She goes on to say how pork is bad, red meat is bad, she’s so healthy because she doesn’t eat it, down with red meat. All the while I’m eating ham. So, I ask her what exactly are the benefits of not eating red meat. Crickets.
Dumb azz. I’m sure there are some benefits, and I’m sure that I would probably get them if I stopped eating red meat. But, guess what…I ain’t! And if you don’t eat it, I’ma need you to be able to have a reasonable explanation for your choice before you start dissin what’s on my plate and acting all meat saditty. Furthermore, even if you do have a reasonable explanation, it’s YOUR explanation, leave me out of it. I come from a great line of meateaters, and I must carry the torch. Heck, my granddaddy Pop? He ate pork chops till he couldn’t chew no more. And even then, he’d gum the chop down so he could get the flava, then he’d spit it out. Seriously, I can’t let him down.
If you don’t eat meat, fine. To each his own. And to me, crispy bacon. Preferably, on a bun with a quarter pound of beef.
Filed under: The Weekend in Review
Another weekend is gone, and what do I have to show for it? NADA! This is because I left the house for about 4 of the 48 hours that were called Saturday and Sunday. We had a little going away gathering for Girlfriend, and after that, I came home and slaved over the hot stove cooking dinner, then breakfast, then dinner again for Aidan and Tim. Man, I’m such a good woman. Four hot meals in two days? Somebody better recognize.
Oh, yeah! On Saturday we had movie night. We watched Hancock. Loved it. It got a little wierded out, but it was still a good movie. It had jail scenes in it, so I was scared to go to sleep after we watched it. Have I ever told ya’ll that I don’t watch anything with jail scenes in it? Seriously, that terrifies me. That’s why I’ve never seen an episode of S.napped or The F.irst 48. I cannot stand to watch people in jail. I think I ruined the movie night mood cause after it went off I had to watch something to take my mind off the jail, and I ended up watching some show about Saturday Night Live. Which Tim doesn’t get. That guy doesn’t know true humor at all. He doesn’t even think MY jokes are funny, and I’m a hoot!
So, how does my boring weekend compare to yours?
Filed under: Everyday Chatter
The scene: Our house
The players: Mom & Aidan
Mom: Aidan, what is the matter, honey? Why are you crying?
Aidan: You got me in trouble.
Mom: What? You aren’t in trouble. How did I get you in trouble?
Aidan: Yes.you.did. And now I wanna go live with the volleyball girls.
Mom: **what? what does he know about some volleyball girls?**
The scene: The telephone
The players: Psonya and Tim
Psonya: Baby, Aidan told me that I got him in trouble and he wanted to go live with the volleyball girls. Ha, ha, ha. Isn’t that funny?
Tim: Shooot, have you seen those volleyball girls? The ones from Brazil? I wanna go live with ‘em too.
Psonya: **sigh**
Tim: I’m just sayin’, I don’t see where Jr. is wrong for that…..
See what I have to deal with?
Have a super de duper weekend! See you guys Monday!
Filed under: What ya'll think?
One of my beloved line sisters is having a baby, and its a girl!!! She asked us which name we liked best, so I thought I’d refer to the Fab 14 to see what you guys think. You need a little background? Well, if she’s anything like her mama, she’s gonna be a little jazzy girl, a cutie pie cheerleader, a super personality, sweet beyond belief, probably Miss USA (without the scandal). So, we can’t name her Gertrude. What should we name our Miss USA?
1. Jorgie
2. Jianni
3. Jaisee-Leigh
Leave your vote in the comments.
**And don’t be gettin jiggy and get cussed out. I’on play ’bout my line sisters.
Filed under: Everyday Chatter
I watched the news yesterday and heard the story about the Indian store clerk who shot a Black man who had stolen some beer. The guy ran in the store, grabbed a case of beer, and jumped in his SUV. The store clerk ran out, shot at the truck, and the thief hit a pole or something and was killed.
Now, Mississippi has this “Castle Doctrine” that essentially says that you have the right to use force if there is an intruder on your property and you are in fear of imminent danger. Apparently, some have interpreted this to mean that you have the right to shoot and kill anybody who tries to steal something from you. Well, at least that’s what the store clerk that has been charged with murder is claiming. Aside from the Castle Doctrine not being clear, as some say, how about let’s use common sense. When is it ever okay to shoot to kill someone who stole something from you AND who was retreating at the time he was shot?
In my opinion, this guy lost his life for stealing a case of beer. A little bit of a steep penalty. A store clerk is about to lose his life because he was angry. Which one is worse?
Filed under: Everyday Chatter
Every since I downloaded my fave tunes to my phone, the shuffle has been going strong at work. From about 3:00 – 5:00 every day, I plug my phone up to my speakers and jam to the sounds of Brian McKnight, Angie Stone, Rahsaan Patterson, Babyface, Jamie Fox, and others. I notice that during that time, I start to wanna call Tim and just see what he’s doing. Then I think I kinda miss him. Then I think I’ll be glad when the weekend gets here so I can look all upside his head. Then I start to have visions of us walking in the moonlight holding hands….
Then I thought one day, “What is the matter with me? I don’t act like this! I’m not all starry-eyed and googoo gaga. I am not.that.chic.” I figured it out…it’s the iPod. Ya’ll know Tim ain’t got it like that. 
I got nothin, you guys. Didn’t do a darned thing this weekend. Aidan had a playdate and, boy, did they play. Nonstop. For 8 full hours. Let me take this time to give kudos to all you parents of twins out there, and to thank the good Lord that I’m not one of them. CoCo went for a bath at Petsmart, then got home and rolled around in some mud…$30.00 down the drain — but at least I learned that she would stand still for a bath if threatened appropriately and given about 1600 treats. Tim came for a brief moment, but had to go back home cause of some theivery at his home. Those loser burglars messed up our weekend plans. So, that was that. What about ya’ll? What did you do, or not do, this weekend?
