PSERENDIPITY

Why are you breaking up with us? We didn’t do anything to deserve this! I mean, we loved you and Bill. We were faithful to you. I know, I know, the new man made you kind of jealous. But did you have to start showing yo azz like this? You ran outta SC with a minimal effort to court our vote and left Bill there cause you thought we loved him enough that you didn’t even need to bother. That wasn’t cool. You started playing the dozens at the debate, but what you were saying wasn’t even true. That wasn’t cool. Now, these radio ads??? You ain’t even trying to let us down easy.

I’m just sayin, Hill. You have made your point. Could you stop this temper tantrum, please? We ain’t really feelin it. You know what, never mind. We’re just gone have our own little temper tantrum, too. NAH! You can’t break up with US cause we gone break up wit you first! NAH. Gone take your lil husband and get on outta here, you sore almost loser. When you’re ready to act like you got some sense we might take you back. But…we’ll probably have a new man by then…

Used to Love You,

Black America

Update by Girlfriend:

Hillary just called and left a message on Black America’s voice mail, and yes, she was crying. Talkin’ ’bout, “When can I see you again? Can I call you sometime? I mean, I won’t bother you, I just want to hear your voice from time to time, is that o.k.”…sniffle, sniffle, “O.k., well bye. I guess, I’ll see you ’round…with your new man.” “I mean, what he got that I ain’t got? He may be nice and all, and your family may love him, but…but…we got history! That should count for something.” “I mean, I been there for you when nobody else was, right? (awkward silence) “Don’t worry, I won’t clown you when I see you in the streets with…Him. Well, aight, call me!”